Before I start this blog post, I just want to tell you that this post is quite different from all the other posts I have and it is more a personal thing to talk about. So a lot of you may see me or may think that I have no problems, that I have a perfect life, I have nothing negative to deal with that I just go out and have fun with my friends and family, spend most of my time like really just having fun. But, that’s the trick of the internet, you get to choose and control what you want people to see and hide those negative things about you. Don’t be too deceived of what you see, I may look so happy most of the time that I really laugh my butt out, but that’s just how I want people to see me and I don’t want them to worry too much about the other side of me. I mean, I don’t have the super dangerous alter ego but I do have or I do deal with Anxiety specifically like Generalized Anxiety, I really don’t know what triggered it but it just really happened to be worse today.
What is Generalized Anxiety?
Generalized Anxiety is one of the most common types of anxiety which people go through. It is excessive thinking and dwelling on “what-ifs”, just really overthinking things. It is creating fearful scenarios inside your head and really worrying too much about what could possibly go wrong about yourself and just everything.
This generalized anxiety doesn’t make me avoid situations and doesn’t really hold me back that much, I also do not suffer from panic attacks but what I hate it about it is it causes me to really just think and think and think and it’s non-stop and I just really came to a point where I want to shut my brain off but I just can’t.
It’s quite hard for people to understand it, some may just think you are overreacting things, but it’s really hard for us to always fight it and just stop overthinking it’s so extreme that like for example when I am waiting for someone, that really makes me so anxious and if that person’s late, there will be a lot of things coming to my head like what if he/she had an accident and I’m here knowing nothing and it just will then make me feel uneasy and another thing is that when one person just really snapped me I may give it a glance for now but after that, it’s gonna bother me like not just for an hour but will really take over. There are just so many things that make me think a lot even if there are no things that I should even worry. Like if one person replied just “okay” to me, I will think a lot of things like did I say wrong or did I do something that is really offensive, or does he/she has a problem with me but where in fact, it was just really okay. And with just that, feelings of fear and anxiety runs just really wild.
This anxiety gives me a hard time like there will be days where I feel so happy and there will just be days where I don’t want to talk to anyone and I just don’t want get out of my bed. I usually have them whenever I am in front of many people because I feel like I am judged with everything, I worry about what they will say about me, I worry about how I look, or what if I mess up, and I just hate it because sometimes, even if how confident I am with what I am going to do, I just end up messing it because of anxiety.
What helps me when I get this anxiety attacks?
Whenever I have this attacks, it’s very hard but I try my very best to focus my attention on other things like if I am somewhere outdoors, I like to examine the trees, look up the sky and think of positive things, well you can’t always do that, I personally can’t constantly do that to myself but it’s really effective and the more you try to do it, the more you are like lessening the attacks. I also like to keep anything in my pocket like a coin or anything with a different texture because whenever I am in a situation where I can’t really go out and I get anxiety attacks, I need to touch something, I need to feel something or like to hold on to a person, I usually have a coin in my pocket or I really do touch my earrings or necklace if I do have some. Just really, you have to focus yourself on different things and don’t think of the same thing that makes you anxious.
Anxiety and overthinking are really evil partners and it’s hard to fight them because whenever they attack, you are like being attacked by a lot of people and you just can’t knock them down easily. So if you have a friend who suffers from this generalized anxiety, I suggest that whenever they have attacks, stay by their side and tell them that everything’s gonna be fine, never contradict what they are thinking, just tell them it’s gonna be fine, and never ever tell them that they’re overreacting things because you’ll just make it worse. So for those who feel like they’re alone in this kind of situation, well love, you are not and I know we can do this, alright? All the love, x.