What’s going on? The blog is being too outdated, and I just can’t explain how things are going on in my life right now. This post is again, something personal. Since I share almost everything online, I decided to have a little talk here about the things that are happening right now, so that you guys will have an idea why I’ve been MIA lately.
I literally am having thousands of emotions lately, I feel like I am on a rollercoaster ride of emotions. If you will look at your emoji’s, I can say that I tried them, real life. I have been so busy lately, I’ve been too focused on my studies, (as you guys may or may not be aware, I’m still studying), and school is no joke, I’m already done with the “chill” times and I feel like I jumped from being “chill” to “serious” real quick. I can no longer spend late nights watching youtube videos or my favorite series. Instead, I am sleeping late almost everyday because of studying, because I need to do school works and it makes me drain my brain and self just literally so much. Just few weeks ago, we just had our examinations and I nearly blew my mind (can you just please imagine how hard I’ve been through with how I described them with words…), I had less sleep, drank more coffee to stay awake, reading and reading and studying, I just wanted to stop, but I can’t. I have to meet a lot of deadlines with studying, with this blog, which I’ll soon be revealing, and a lot of things that I do besides blogging and studying.
I also have been suffering from anxiety lately, and my anxiety became worse. I hate that I need to wake up late at night to finish school works and stress myself from meeting tons of deadlines, then my anxiety will join the picture, which will then lead me to depression. It’s just really worse these past few weeks and I literally am crying because I want to shut my brain and stop thinking about things and worrying about them, but, no matter what I do, I still get attacks every single day, and I am hating myself more because I am then holding myself back and stop doing things because of my anxiety.
On the other side, I am like still trying to keep myself on the positive side of life, despite the things that are running in my head and despite the sleepless nights that I’ve been, I still want to make things go positively and try to lessen the negativity, and with that of course, I am glad that I have bunch of great companies, my friends, that whenever I am with them, I feel less negative and just really happy. And, one more thing that I am happy right now is to have someone special to stay by my side and just support me and cheer me up whenever I feel so down and understands me when I get attacks.
Life is still beautiful despite the hardships that we get to experience, it’s still worth to live, these struggles that we experience everyday in our lives will mold us to be who we want ourselves to be and we won’t be strong and be a better person if we will just always experience happiness, we still need to experience sadness every once in a while for us to appreciate joy even more. So, whatever you guys are going through, just keep in your mind, that you are just being tested and being molded to be the best person you can be, never lose hope and never ever give up.